Aug 17 2007
About Me
I am J. A. I have built this site as an outlet for my rants and insights. In my life, I have endured so much loss. Having become an orphan and then losing a sister, many would categorize my life as tragic and sad, from an outsider’s perspective. But this is my life, I own it, heartaches and all. I have persevered and will continue to do so.
These days, I write entries to keep my old friends, who are mostly deployed abroad, posted about my life here in Manila. I miss them. In the Firm where I presently work, I formed new relationships and friendships that have one trait in common: a new level of honesty. I cherish them. In recent months, I found new friend outside of work who shared the same interests as I did, but that eventually didn’t work out. Still, I learned from them.
With an unyielding faith in God, my family and myself, I weather each storm.
With a happy heart, I share my laughter, friendships and the beauty that I see in the world.
With hope and utter reverence, I look into a brighter tomorrow.
great site hope to know u more!
+)
Dear Ador,
Missed seeing you when I visited Manila. Although you and Aki stayed in Digos for a while, I haven’t had the time to get to know you as a person and develop a special bond with you although I consider you part of our extended family.
As you matured, watching you from a distance, I know that you are a special person and a gifted one.
You have achieved so much and still achieving more. Yet, despite your achievements, you are still alone and lonely inside. Your blogs (well-written!) revealed your sadness… for a reason. Yet, I can sense that despite the successes in your career, your heart is still yearning for more. Try to examine closely the reason for such restlessness.
Like St. Augustine, your heart will always be restless until it rests in Him…. Material things will never replace the comfort that He can give. We can acquire all the gadgets and bags in the world but we can never be truly happy and serene inside. Perhaps, you need to open your heart, mind and soul (and wallet…) to the needy. Perhaps, like Mother Teresa and St. Francis of Assisi (2 of my favorite saints), you will truly find what you’ve been missing all your life… can’t help preaching… sorry
As the song written by Manuel V. Francisco, SJ goes,
In Him alone is our hope, in Him alone is our strength.
In Him alone are we justified, in Him alone are we saved.
What have we to offer that does not fade or wither?
Can the world ever satisfy the emptiness in our hearts? In vain we deny.
When will you cease running in search of hollow meaning?
Let His love feed the hunger in your soul till it overflows
With joy you yearn to know.
As an Ate, I just feel the need to reestablish the lost link between us no matter how thin that link was. I hope you will get in touch with me and consider me your spiritual Ate…
Despite your distance and deliberate attempts to cut us off from your life, I conside you and Aki as my younger brothers… I still treasure the picture you had with Aki, Masol, Mama, Tiya Cita at the old Mary Mediatrix Church taken during your recognition day years back….
Finally, you may explore the writings of Anthony de Mello, St. Ignatius of Loyola and St. Augustine. Perhaps, you may approach a Jesuit spiritual director to become your confidante and counselor. My prayer is that you will have to grace to have a fuller life with Him…
Take care always and strive to be happy. Do not think that you are alone because you are not and never will be…
Mizpah.
Ate Joy
Hi Ate,
Thank you for your generous comment.
I am sorry if I don’t get to communicate with you as much. Life is indeed busy. I am riding the wave of my career, of which I believe is because I already paid my dues from the past years. It simply is foolhardy to stop now. One thing I have learned about myself is that I tend to have a one track mind, and tend to lose track of how long I’ve not been talking to my relatives.
Regarding my blogs, I am sorry if I tend to show you a refracted view of myself in them. Despite all the things that happened to me, I am a happy person. Now more than ever, God has given me all the things that I have focused on: meaningful friendships, love, truth and clarity. I may not mention it, but I know that I do have a special relationship with God, more than any Sabbath obligation can bring. It just so happened that besides going to mass and other “traditional” methods of worship, I use my daily meditations to reach into myself and to HIM.
I do admit that after our recent loss, I felt kind of lost, then felt formidable. So formidable that I became unfeeling and shut myself from other people. But it’s different now, I am breaking down those walls. I am a very empathic person. I think that’s one of the gifts that God has given to me. So empathic that I do know that the material things that I write about are just that: material. I write about them because I like writing about them, and I like that most of my readers like reading about those. I buy some of them because either I need or want them. I do not, in any case, try to substitute them for real emotional gratification.
Thanks Ate and hope to talk to you soon.
/Angelo
i have a new blog! http://mazeofregrets.livejournal.com.. =)
you can delete the old link na.:)
Great site Angelo! To somehow change the mood, you could share your insights about weddings! ; ) Join the wedding forum at http://www.weddingengineers.synthasite.com! We welcome talented bloggers and those who have lots of ideas about anything! Hope your friends of such gifted group join as well!
You may have been through a lot, just don’t forget the fun and happiness shared with a lot of people you cared for! Enjoy!
hi, i’ve read some of your blog entries. damn, they were depressing! haha
i became a fan.
coool stuff here, bro!!! :))))
“We all share the same path, we all learn from experience - there’s no other way to go through life.”
“We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”