Reading one of the Coconuter’s recent entries, this got me thinking:

“…the flow of money is out of balance today. Just as the trash in the Philippines is no where near of becoming fully recycled as the majority remain littered on the streets and in waterways, the same goes for the Philippine Peso. The wide wealth gap remains as money is stuck in a financial bottleneck with the rich few, unable to channel enough money to the impoverished majority of the Filipino population.”

There are days when I wonder how people like Chuvaness and Bryanboy exist here in our country.  The money they spend on a bag would amount to a common Filipino’s annual salary.  Sometimes I wonder if the Philippines is indeed separated between the Rich and the Poor, with a very deep chasm in between.  If that’s the case then which side am I in?

After the numerous highs and lows of my life, in most aspects, I’m afraid to answer.

My brother and I found ourselves coaching a grade school girl in her singing the other day.  She was going to compete in a singing contest the next day.  By the end of the 2 hour session, she had proper breathing, had good voice quality and could render the song very well.  The mother was very grateful after the session. Admittedly, I was also excited to hear how she did. I was quite sure that she would win, or at least bag a prize.

Today I asked my brother how the girl did in yesterday’s competition. He said she didn’t win.  Seeing that I was a bit dumbfounded, he continued to explain that it must have been because of the overall impact:  while everyone else was wearing Filipiniana (it was a Linggo ng Wika singing contest), the girl competed wearing a pink tube top. Details, details…

There goes one of my rare stints as a voice coach.

Knowing all too well that I would love this, my friend Eric took this pic and sent it to me this afternoon.

This Lacoste store is in a place called Passage in Amsterdam.  Eyelavet!

Aug 27: 

I somehow fell into a pit of unfeeling.  For a person whose emotions power his skills and focus, becoming dispassionate is paralyzing…

Continued Aug 28:

Another sleepless night.  I’m too weak to go to work.  My brother didn’t bother to wake me.  He knows I haven’t been able to rest all night, I think.  Argh, why does the past continue to haunt me relentlessly.  Finding a weakness in me during the recent turmoil in my life, the shadows didn’t waste time to creep into the cracks of my once formidable walls.  I am still suffering, but somehow tonight I have found enough strength to keep them at bay.

Continued Aug 29:

Still teary-eyed and short of breath, I struggle to get myself back to work this morning.  I can barely keep a bright facade.  Civility is all I can muster for now.

I just discovered a great thing yesterday.  There’s free WiFi at Burger King Glorietta!

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You don’t even need one of those YP cards they give you at Gloria Jeans for every 30Php purchase.  It’s completely free!  I want my WiFi with large onion rings please.

I called in sick today and decided to stay under the covers all day.  The ringing in my head could only be explained by the anxiety attacks I have been having all night.  Another sleepless night, this time caused by the episode I experienced yesterday.  Before I continued my slumber I did send out cover letters with my application to about 5 companies.  I’m trying to find extra work, or maybe even full time work on Odesk.com.

I figured that my brother has the right idea:  working from home will lessen the chance of having to deal with co-workers, and all that crab-mentality bullshit.  I can’t believe that I’m looking for another job again.  Maybe I’m just bound to live like the wanderer Cara and her Grandmother.

I’m talking about Bruce Coville’s Unicorn Chronicles.  The Song of the Wanderer is the second book of the series.  In some aspects, I can relate to her.

A pool of negativity is welling up in me.  I am gathering every ounce of good experiences I can muster just to keep it at bay.  It feels like holding my breath really, for fear that releasing my lungs will also cause the tears to flow out of me uncontrollably.  Articulating it right now, at this very height of feeling, helps me somehow - like digging tiny streams to ease the raging river.

I have never felt like this in a long time.  I never thought that a tiff with co-workers would ever trigger such feelings.  Perhaps it’s more than just a tiff, for weeks now seeds of doubt have been sown about the sincerity of some people I work with.  I assure you that I am not imagining it, for empathy is both a gift and a burden that I carry.  The very moment that they had an opportunity to mock me among themselves, I felt that very feeling.  It sickened me that such ill-will could ever be directed towads me.

I never asked for the position to lead.  I am a leader by circumstance, I tell you.

These words of power always kept me going, even during times that I feel a little lost.  Even times such as these.  We always need to go back and learn from the people who have passed on.  Their wisdom is a powerful beacon of light amidst the darkness.

When I went to Glorietta after work last Friday,  I found out that I just lost about 40Php from when I got out of the cab to the restaurant.  I hate losing stuff, it goes against my obsessive compulsive nature.  I even started worry about my memory then.

As soon as I sat down in my room that night, I opened my Web browser and found this article flashed on my screen (sony.aol.com, by browser’s default page).  Coincidence?  I think not!Â

—

How to keep good memory 

Excerpted from ‘The Memory Workbook’ by Douglas J. Mason & Michael L. Kohn

• Use it or Lose it.  Your brain is a muscle. Doing puzzles, reading and playing cards or games all exercise your brain strength and build self-confidence. Also, try teaching what you know to others. It’s a great way to enhance your recollections — and bond with younger people.
• Have a Laugh.  Humor goes a long way toward memory improvement. Think of a joke, humorous phrase or silly song and attach it to whatever you need to remember, such as picking up the dry cleaning or shopping for groceries. You’ll not only have a laugh, but you’ll relax more and stay positive.
• Grab a Crutch.  There are so many wireless devices these days that help you remember: cell phones, PalmPilots, MP3 players. These modern conveniences can guide you through your day, allow you to plan ahead and free up space in your mind.
• Get Organized.  Find a central location — or “memory spot” — to place all the things you use every day, such as keys, wallet, purse and cell phones. If you make lists, always keep them all in one place; they can’t help you if you can’t find them.
• Stay Positive.  If you think that you have a poor memory, you might convince yourself into that being the case. Instead, think positively about your memory. And don’t panic if you can’t immediately recall something. Take the time to let it come to you.
• Pay Attention.  Life can sometime be chaotic but try to be attentive to what’s going on around you. “I forgot” is often just another way of saying, “I wasn’t paying attention.”
• Link Memories.  When you have difficulty remembering something, try to reconstruct the time and place associated with that memory. If you want to recall what you got for your birthday last year, for example, picture where you were, what you were wearing and the people around you.
• Focus on your strength.  Challenge your brain by learning something new, but do it in a way that plays to your strengths. Mnemonics, or the art of memorization, is affected by our learning style: visual, auditory, kinesthetic. Understanding is essential to learning and remembering.
  Â

I was sick for a couple of days last week.  I woke up to look for food in the kitchen and found out that my friend from the USA got us this care package.

Among the stuff were Swiss Miss and some of this dark chocolate mixes.

Very sweet, and very good timing too!

I found myself spending Friday night alone again.  Oh well, what can you do?  I decided to go to Soup Kitchen and have the best thing to have on a rainy day…

Sobra!  I keep talking about food here.

I went to TGI Fridays a couple of days ago with a special friend.  At the end of our dinner we decided to share a dessert.  When it finally arrived, I swear, this is so much bigger than the picture in the menu.

Usually it’s the opposite, the picture is bigger than the real thing.  This is at least two tiers bigger than the pic.

Our boss threw a great party at TopGrill last night

TopGrill is located at Jupiter St., right by Lutong Macau.

I sat beside my trigger, Ms. Dinah.  Trigger - this means that when she leaves I will too.

This is me singing You by Basil Valdez.  Who would have thought that after my extensive training at the Center for Pop Music Philippines, I would be reduced to singing in parties and sing-along bars.  Hehe

You may ask, did I have any regrets last night?  My only regret is wearing that grey Lacoste shirt.  It’s specifically my ‘non-gimmick’ shirt, the one that I wear whenever I want to be boring that day.  I totally forgot about the party.

After a few days of problems with my webmaster, finally the website is back up again.  Good thing my new Webmaster’s phone is not published on the web, else they would have heard their scolding of the year.

Let me just settle down here, then I’ll start firing up an entry or two.

Nowadays, I keep a secret shifter list to keep me in a happy mood.  This is my list, as seen on my Law of Attraction notes:

1.  Tink
2.  Lindsay Lohan
3.  Midnight Anxiety
4.  Jack Spade
5.  LV
6.  Chuvaness
7.  Wealth
8.  My partner

Whenever something negative is around who might influence my mood, I go through this list.  Something in this list is bound to get me back on the good mood train.  Using this technique, by the Law of Attraction I attract only good things.